PAY ATTENTION
I seem to see it everywhere, like you do, as I read today, when you are eight months pregnant and you so all these other women who are too---or you've just ordered a Prius and they are everywhere on the roads all of a sudden.
Everybody, everything I read, every sermon I hear, as I did tonight here at Junaluska, seems to be saying "duh, Susan, FOCUS ... PAY ATTENTION." Bishop said in his sermon at the celebration of the Heartland districts superintendents a few weeks ago---CONCENTRATE...What I am reading and thinking about so much these days, is saying PAY ATTENTION---God is already in this new world and new day-----preveniently God is already where we have not yet been---and before we yet know it. God is already doing far more than we can ever ask or imagine. PAY ATTENTION, clergy...PAY ATTENTION churches--there are young adults everywhere who need a safe person with whom to ask the tough questions and a person who has something, and Someone, to offer. PAY ATTENTION--God is giving us opporunities wherever we are to offer Christ. There are those close to us whose life intersect daily with ours whom God may want us to pay attention to, so that we can become what God intends us to be...PAY ATTENTION---someone whom you already know and love may be saying something to you you have not yet heard, or may be asking you to become more human and real so that God can get through to you. (Everytime I have written "you" I of course mean "me" too) Tonight the host bishop here preached, and as illustration of being focused he asked us why we, who say we have open hearts, open minds, open doors, don't seem to really want to be open to the Holy Spirit sometimes. Interesting.

Legion, pomo and the UMC

legion
Originally uploaded by scoxjohnson.

That's pomo, as in postmodern. I'm still reading (slowly) Truth is Stranger Than it Used to Be. Today, instead of reading, which part of me wanted to do all day, I was at a meeting where we talked, and envisioned and listened to each other about what we would like for our annual conference to become. For some reason tonight, in relation to this, I thought of one of the descripters that is used by the authors of the book I mentioned earlier---that one of the characteristics of postmodernity is that many find themselves as living illustrations of the Biblical account in Mark 5---the demon-possessed man who says to Jesus that "my name is Legion"---the writers say this: "Controlled by many spirits, the man in the biblical story was tormented, homeless, and in need of healing. So, it seems to us, is the contemporary postmodern psyche." (p. 56) And so, perhaps, are many of us across the connexion perhaps, maybe especially pastors, who have many identities to which we feel loyalty, some of which feel in conflict with one another---we want to be relational, to take the time to listen to those we encounter, yet we feel pulled by the commitments we have previously made. We want to be open to learning from other faiths and the richness of pluralism, but we want to hold as true the uniqueness, and many of us would say the rightness of Christ as Savior. We want to be caring toward the older, faithful members of our congregations, yet we know that we cannot forever keep doing what we have always done. We are in need of healing, as a denomination, as a conference, and as those who seek to faithfully serve--a healing that will lead to greater integrity of ministry, and an integration of our many selves---and somehow, I know that wholeness toward which we yearn, will never be complete until we no longer see our selves dimly in a mirror, but when our selves our joined eternally with our God. Looking to Christ, the pioneer of our faith, we can grow in wholeness, though, I really believe. How do we keep centered when we feel so pulled? Means of grace, Susan, means of grace.
Sorry this is a bit stream of consciousness tonight...

Truth Is Stranger...

Truth
Originally uploaded by scoxjohnson.

Wow! Lots of things popping around all of the emergent conversation for me right now! I am currently reading this book, which has been out for a while, but which is an extremely good review of the postmodern quandry for those of us who are in the midst of churches that struggle with change. Steve and Cindy Breon and I went to Jacob's Well last night---so good to see Tim!!! I meet with Steve Cox, our conference director of connectional ministries tomorrow, and have bought books to share with Steve and Bruce Baxter, our church development director for the conference. I don't seem to be finding the time to keep reading and writing, because I'm spending a lot of time doing!!! I am very interested to see how our meeting at Lee's Summit on Friday goes in regard to perhaps doing some restructuring of our conference boards/committees. etc...this all seems to be integrating in wonderful ways!

Bad Religion

Bad Religion
Originally uploaded by scoxjohnson.

Yesterday I took my 14 year old son down to Camp Galilee--to a week of UMC camp with high schoolers--he will be in ninth grade. He was the only one there I think with a mohawk, a few pink locks of hair amongst almost natural other color, and probably the only one who had listened with his mother to punk (some old school--some techno--some a little emo) on the way down to Eldorado Springs. Caleb likes for me to hear things he thinks I will like and then just BEAMS when he is right--we listened to my favorite, Bad Religion, and Process of Belief--Greg Gaffin's lyrics are proof for me of prevenient grace---God has already shown up in a lot of his words even though Bad Religion has made an art form of dissing organized religion. I wanted to show Bad Religion videos and discuss them with younger adults on the perifery at Broadway and never got around to it. Caleb also shared a group called Postal Service and the always popular with moms "Backstreet Boys." It makes me feel a little weird that there is no way that I know of to explain how much I want the church to engage culture--this part of the culture I think. There is lots more to say about this. And...I have been in cabinet all day. Do I feel schizzee or what?

A few snapshots of the day

whimsical-leap[1]
Originally uploaded by scoxjohnson.

--The pleasure of giving bags of Ghiardelli Chocolate to our two wonderful office staff persons for "putting-the-heck-up" with three newbie d.s.s for the last three weeks
--reading through the two "guys" (the 2 male dss with whom I share an office) autobiographical statements and really believing it's okay that we are all a little different, and that I may be the whimsical one, but that doesn't mean I don't take this very, very seriously.
--a good, good lunch with Dr. Knight, a good, good friend
--actually accomplishing (well, addressing) all the tasks on my list for the day. Ministry may be in the interruptions as they say, but when there are those who are counting on you to do what you said you would do, it's good not to have too many interruptions sometimes...
--going to the Northland Borders with Cana, who was MIGHTY snippy, but enjoyed it anyway. I bought two Chet Baker CDs and Eugene Peterson's newest book, Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places.
--and, today, again, no ministers quit.
It was a good day.

Praise Jesus I'm back at it!

Praise Jesus I'm back at it!
Originally uploaded by scoxjohnson.

Today I began again on my serious emerging journey---as the modernist I am, I set reading goals, activity goals, etc for the next month around all this. I continue to read this book, which is the one I recommend to folks new to the conversation. Today, I read an entry that was about the elephant in the living room that main liners don't like to talk about---the very small percentage of young adults who are choosing the ordained ministry---lots of second careerers, not too many young pups. Tomorrow I get to go visit one of, if not THE youngest of the student local pastors in my district, Michael Dunlap. I am feeling a real call to work with, mentor, encourage, help out, correct, etc these younger clergy.

Advice from Robert and Lovett

follow
Originally uploaded by scoxjohnson.

I have been messing around with my D.Min degree for TOO long..not making much progress at all on the program this past year, while reading voraciously in emergent literature and writing and doing a spot of teaching about it as well, as well as leading my-used-to-be congregation at Broadway along the emergent way. And now to d.s.-hood with what everyone says is a busier life. So at Annual Conference, a month ago (gee what a month it's been) I asked Robert Martin, who is the director of the Doctor of Ministry Program at St. Paul to "just tell me what to do." And he did, bless his directive heart. On Satruday night, June 4, 2005, as we sat eating at the Bread Basket Cafe in Columbia Missouri, Robert said to me (I may be paraphrasing): "Okay Susan,,,this is what you are going to do..." and then he said that I was going to focus on the emergent conversation and United Methodism as my project, and to write... a substantive work. So...then a week ago today, I sat with Lovett Weems at lunch at the Mexican place across from the seminary ... I was seeking his advice on Robert's suggestion, and the first thing I remember Lovett saying as we sat with chips and salsa before us, was, "follow your passion." I am passionate about many things...from my kids to the Cardinals to crocheting to the ministry possibilities of every church in my district. What Robert's advice was, was to focus that ministry passion for the next three or so years around this emergent thing, and to share the passion somehow. What Lovett's advice was, I think, was to make a contribution to those my age and particularly in my denomination, who need to know more about this.. Robert said to me something I am trying to keep in mind...that I will regret not doing this five to seven years from now if I don't. The voice of God perhaps? Methinks it may be so.