Flying and a panoramic view

Here is a quotation that really got me smiling and thinking today, from McLaren's forward to the second edition of Renewing the Center: Evangelical Theology in a post-theological era, by Stanley Grenz (we miss him terribly) in reply to those in the traditional evangelical camp who accused Grenz of falling away from the true nature of conservative theology: "Stan wasn't recommending we trade in the old Ford with its bad alignment and constant pull to the right and lease a new Renault that has an equal and opposity pull to the left. He was recommending we go to the airport and fly"...and then "In other words he wasn't talking about whether or not evangelicalism should live in apartment 207 or 224, with their respective second-floor views of sunrise and sunset. He recommended that we move up to the seventh floor, with its southern exposure, so that we could see both sunrise and sunset from the picture window in the living room." I am looking forward to reading the entire book.

Cana is 18!!! And a quick shout-out

It's 18 (!) year old Cana Ruth on her birthday in her new cowboy hat with her brother in the background (with his swollen right cheek still). Notice the lovely birthday cake with candle. Since I had no b-day candles and it was an angel food cake (her request---fresh from Wal-Mart), I told her to go around the house and find a candle we could put in the middle. We all thought (including Philip of course) that the cake looked slightly suggestive...she is having a sleep over with about 5 friends on Saturday night...at her dad's. She's a special one, that is for sure. Now if she can just pass consumer math, we will have a graduating senior in our houses, as well!

And, totally on another subject, a huge big shout-out to The Rev. Dr Henry H. Knight III for talking to me yet again tonight about the book-thing. One of his first questions was, "do you have a passion to do this?"...guess what my answer was....

A P.S. on Prince

Prince expressed to me, by eating nearly three little cans of Fancy Feast Chicken in Gravy today, that reports of his imminent death were greatly exaggerated. He spent last night outside and came in quite hungry. His breathing is still fairly labored, but he speaks to me "rrrurck" when I come in to the room now and is currently laying on my bedroom ottoman purring away. He has just eaten the third can of Fancy Feast, and even felt good enough to groom himself...what's a cat owner to do, except be joyful?? Thanks for words of concern

Prince the Cat and Susan's Week in Review

This has been quite the last ten days: Since a week ago Tuesday night, Brian McLaren spoke at one of my churches; I was in cabinet two days and Pathways one day; I spoke in unnecessary and hurtful haste inappropriately at least one of those days; I met one of my new pastors for the first time and "put him in" to his new appointment; I ordered the MLB InDemand sports package to watch the Cards; I made Hello Dollies--bar cookies; I preached at Saint Paul ( Subject: New Occasions Teach New Duties; New Wine and old wine skins; Wesley and field preaching, yeah, you've probably heard this one from me before); I went to see a wonderful play/musical at the Gem Theater called Crowns with lots of gospel music and hats (and I went with Penny Ellwood, which was very nice, too); I have decided I want to try to write and get published a book on emergent/emerging and the Wesleyan Tradition and so have been in email conversation and phone conversation with Dr. Weems, Dr Knight III and Dr. (Douglas) Strong, Dr. (Elaine) Heath as well as with Abingdon very preliminarily; which means I also am on a reading regimen which includes a 1 1/2 mile round trip walk to Starbucks in Westport where I read and think (I am worried about jinxing this book thing, which probably won't happen---publishing I mean---so I don't want to say much more); I also am getting ready to take good care of Caleb this weekend--he is having oral surgery to remove all four wisdom teeth on Saturday (his dad, by the way is at the Deacon and Diaconal Ministers convocation in Orlando, so I am single parenting this week); and the bishop is coming to consecrate the new Faith: Grain Valley church building on Sunday and will preach both services.

AND: There's Prince. He is the oldest of our two cats, 11 1/2 years old. Over the last month he has gone through periods where he doesn't want to eat or drink, but has come out of it. This week, he pretty much stopped all together. We took him to the vet, had blood tests run, and the tests don't show anything to be wrong. Tomorrow we take him in for x-rays. I wonder if he is just tiring out. He has been a good old big tom cat, neutered as a young cat, and gentle with humans, with a tiny meow, although in his heyday he was the biggest baddest cat any other feline had the misfortune of meeting. He is smart; our other cat Maggie is beautiful but stupid (sorry to be so harsh, but it is true). Prince is a true UMPC (United Methodist Preachers' Cat.) He has fully itinerated, living in six different houses (not even counting the month in 2004 when all the Cox-Johnsons, including cats lived in Philip's duplex waiting for the Old Broadway parsonage to sell), in four different counties, and has seldom complained. But now, I have a feeling he is tired and wants to go live in kitty heaven. And although we are not happy about it, we are resolved to give him gently palliative care until that day arrives, which may be soon. We love him.

About two weeks ago, I discovered this lovely radio stations through Itunes--in the classics genre. I put it on when I am staying in Columbia in a hotel room. I put it on when I stretch out in the mornings. I have it on now as I am typing. It is beautiful---you can read more about it at their site. About three quarters of the pieces are unknown to me, written by recent piano artists. Once in a while there will be a classical tune that I know. And once in a great while, I will have an experience like I did tonight. As I started to relax tonight, preparing for bed, I sat down at the computer, put on my headphones, started to play one of my mesmerizing computer games and listening to Whisperings. I heard a whisper of a hymn played simply and beautifully, without much ornamentation, with sensitivity, "It is Well With My Soul." And it is.

The Bishop's Most Excellent Book and my Zen-Like Reflections

Our bishop's new book is out: Five Practices of Fruitful Congregations...it is an expansion on the "Five Practices" that have become very much a part of the language of Missouri Methodism over the past two years and which are stimulating churches to strive for excellence. For those who do not yet know and have not yet heard, those outside of Missouri, and anyone IN Missouri who has been asleep for the past 2 years, those practices are: Radical Hospitality; Passionate Worship; Intentional Faith Development; Risk Taking Mission and Service; and Extravagant Generosity. Our bishop asked me this week if I had written a review of the book yet, on the blog, and no, I have not. So here it goes:
In this nifty expansion on the "five practices" that have caught on in a big way in local churches across the state, Bishop Schnase, with clarity of voice and stimulating examples, deepens our understanding in regard to each. Reading tonight a different book that rs himself recommended to me I ran across this quotation from Bill Wheeler: "Good writing is clear thinking made visible"---a good way to describe what the bishop has done for us here. Bishop Schnase writes about important things in a winsome, very readable way. Several annual conferences will be focusing on this book at the sessions this summer.. In Missouri, where we already are quite familiar with the practices, this book will encourage congregations which wish to take more seriously their desire to exemplify "best practices" in their distinct ministry settings. Several lively accounts of churches illustrating each of these practices show our bishop's careful and precise use of language and his ability to state clearly the calling that he hears for us "to give our utmost for His highest." In reading this book, pastors and lay persons will be given further vocabulary to articulate their own visions around the five practices and to experience more deeply the life-changing nature that these will have for any church.
The caveat that I offer is not around the value of these practices or the quality of the book. The practices have become part of a rich vocabulary of change that Bishop Schnase is speaking to us, in his ministry that is leading us into excellence. My difficulty (sometimes) is in regard to the paradigm itself--we need to keep in mind that these practices are descriptions of what a church can be, not a truncated definition that includes all that a church can be. What I mean by that is that I sometimes, playing the devil's advocate, ask myself, "would it be possible to excel in these five practices as a church and yet not be faithful?" I am speaking about the mystery of God's purposes that are far more than we can ask or imagine. I never want us to believe that we have arrived at what a church can be, by saying what it "ought" to be. I have a feeling I am quickly getting into a swamp of ecclesiological muck out of which I find it difficult to climb. But I will try some more! Below are some other thoughts I have had about all of this, Zen-like as they are, offered for your perusal, dear blog reader. I would love to have lots of comments on all of this--no one will be upset with anyone about this. Let's have some talk! I wrote most of what is below while I was on vacation at Saint Simons, sitting on the porch, listening to the sea, so that may be why it sort of ebbs and flows. This is not poetry in any sense, even though there are just phrases.

The Gift of Mystery

What I love most about the church (any church really) :

the unexpected grace-filled remark from the little old lady

the economy of grace means one lost if more than 99 found

the sudden experience of the holy in the midst of a very ordinary Sunday—any you realize it was there all the time

I may never be able to explain it in words

The church can be the church best by holding to the standards of the FIVE PRACTICES

The church will never completely be the church by holding on to anything.

The church is the body of Christ. I do not understand this, I do not need to understand it, I just need to live in the truth of it.

It is a good thing to aspire to the best practices we can identify in order to be all that God is calling us to be.

The church is about being and about doing.

We are resident aliens---we experience time differently, we experience cultural values differently than the rest of the world

Can we be radical, passionate, intentional, risk-taking and extravagant and still be utterly unfaithful? I am still thinking about all of this…

Are these practices defining or descriptive—defining a church only by what it does is dangerous--not giving some shape to what a church SHOULD be doing is just as dangerous

Really, when it comes to the gift of mystery, the gift is that there is always something we will not be able to define about it all. This is why we must always err on the side of generosity when tough decisions need to be made. We do not really know---except to look to Jesus---and his life is shrouded in mystery---virgin birth, resurrection

How do we do church best and most faithfully seems to be the question that the Five Practices answer

Might there be other important questions ?

Possible other questions:

What makes for authenticity of purpose for the church?

Where is the place of “spaciousness” for the Spirit?

How do we make fertile ground of persons hearts, in order to be ready to receive that which the Spirit may wish to give that goes someplace other than the five practices

Using checklists to evaluate our church’s health is a helpful thing.

How do we keep from being reductionary in descriptions of the church if we only use checklists to evaluate our church's health (using a checklist is NOT what the bishop is doing---but all this got me to thinking about that)

Of two minds on all of this, but so grateful that the book/the bishop is here to help point us in a direction. Directionlessness is as bad as ignoring mystery.
+++

The Twin of Thomas

And just who was the other one, the Twin's twin?

Was he identical?

Was she fraternal---a sister who stood with the women at the foot of the cross?

I know who that twin is.

I am that twin.

A Doppelganger across time and space,

Except I am more like Thomas than any twin could be.

My doubt is all too obvious---

Heart as his heart---

A child of modernity and Missouri

"Show me!" I say.

"Show me ...you, Jesus!"

"Show me...me!"

Show me---make my mind, my heart sure (RIGHT NOW!)

that it is your voice that is leading me

and not just my own.

Show me---that what I call Truth

is your Truth and not merely my own.

Lord, you were patient with brother Thomas.

You are so patient with me...

So careful with the gentle, constant touch

Down the road to perfection.

Not washing your hands of me in my impertinence

Offering chance after chance with I

So miserably fail

at getting over myself.

When I ache with my unwillingness to face the consequences

Of my luxurious living.

When I sink into repulsive self-pity

Romanticizing into warmth the possibility of pain not yet mine

In order to deny the pain already here.

And then... you show me your scars,

And let me touch your woundednesss.

You show me, show me

How to be the woman who

yearns to fall down at your feet

With lavish love flowing from my heart and hands

Crying out, "My Lord, My God."

+Written Second Sunday of Easter 07

Oh yes, and by the way did I mention...

that Brian McLaren spoke at Platte Woods UMC (yes, in MY district) on Tuesday night??? Can you believe that I call myself a part of the emergent conversation and I have not blogged on that yet???? He was in town to deliver the Wallace Chappell lecture at Saint Paul on Wednesday and was able to be with some pastors for supper the night before, and then to give his presentation on emerging missional churches and the Wesleyan tradition. I had the oppotunity to introduce him. BTW I think I will have some pics up from that night, too...if Mark Calhoun sends them my way...thanks Mark. It was wonderful. Wow.

And, oh yes, something else by the way...I think I am going to give the "book thing" a try. I have talked with and been talked to by various people over the last couple of years about writing on United Methodism and the conversation, and I think I am about ready to try (in all my free time, don't you know...) It "feels" right .

And also BTW, I plan to have some comments here sometime this week about our bishop's book which is out. I hope my blog can be a forum for dialogue about it.

Getting Along With Others Badly: A Fabric Tale ...........OR................ A DS Overdramatizes Her Day

Same old issues, unchanging

Same old people, unyielding

Same old pattern, warped and dishwater gray.

And any coping skills I have are threatening to tear the seams apart

Not enough sleep

Not enough "well dones"

Too much speaking before I think

And I

...am misinterpreted

...am inarticulate

...am stupid and insensitive

...am apologetic for how I said it, but not what I said.

And in the midst

...a friend whose love mends

Not by saying,"Susan, it doesn't matter" or "Susan, stop that unraveling RIGHT NOW!"

But says instead, "here now, let's see what beauty the tatters hold..."

Good Friday

Some sights and sounds from my world this day:

--Thinking all day about that veil that was rent in two---that somehow the bane and blessing of this day is that the souls of men and women are one with the soul of the Son, as he died for the world's pain this day

--Having a heart-touching discussion with Cana about where there really is a hell; and how she and I agree that just because you can't understand something, doesn't mean it's not true

--Purchasing Caleb's birthday present from Loma Vista Hardware (there is a skater shop downstairs) and watching his new skateboard get built in front of our eyes. And him kissing me on the cheek in front of God and everybody right there and then.

--Being a bit surprised that the explicitly Christian business, Hobby Lobby, was open today; I enjoy playing "name that hymn/praise song tune" with the muzak in the store. And seeing for the first time in my life a Resurrection scene complete with figures like a creche, with two centurions, two women, the empty tomb, Jesus dressed in white, and and angel. Guess you could put out/not put out the figures that you need, depending on what year in the lectionary it is.

--I was startled about 10 pm tonight, driving east on 39th street, to see fireworks splashing across the sky in front of me...and then remembering that it was Firework Friday, when at Kauffmann (Royals) stadium, there is a fireworks display every Friday there is a home game. It was startling, though...who would have set off fireworks on the first Good Friday? Rome? The chief priests? The scribes? And that even though there might not be fireworks exploding in my own heart tonight, there are times when I wish I could deny that suffering is a part of human existence. That somehow when things seem to go wrong, I wish I could be like Job's friends and find someone to blame. That I could figure all of it out. That somehow I am complete control of my "destiny." That my perceptions are God's perceptions. And then I am startled again--not by fireworks, but by my screensaver this week, looking through a palm leaf to the cross. And all I really know is that somehow in that cross, of the world has its pain, sin and sorrow that once doomed it to everlasting darkness, consumed by our God.

Tuesday of Holy Week

John 12: 20-36

The Greeks said to Philip

(the disciples' specialist in foreign affairs)

"We want to see Jesus."

Why?.....Philip did not ask.

It was not his place to judge

Instead he played a gospel-type of

Telephone

Perhaps along that chain-Philip-Andrew-Jesus,

Words whispered ear-to-ear

The message morphed into something unclear

Maybe that is why Jesus

Seemed to answer

In riddles unrelated to request.

Jesus spoke of:

Time nearing

Grain falling

Losing life

Surely, Jesus, you did not hear:

The Greeks wanted no philosophy, metaphor or ambiguity.

The Greeks (for once) did not to argue, to prove themselves right.

They wanted to see:

Brilliant Debater

Healer

Miracle Worker.

Just to see.

Jesus told them:

To see means opening just the eyes, but removing the lids of our hearts

And once opened, our hearts will lead us to:

Follow

Love

Die

Lord, as we survey that Wondrous Cross

Make us brave, make us generous, make us simply willing

To see our souls not only in a mirror, dimly

But to face ourselves with 20/20 vision

That we might see with joy this coming Sunday, the beauty of your truth.

Monday of Holy Week

Martha Chooses the Better Part

Did they like the new dinnerware

And that special brand of grapes bought especially for tonight?

Did they notice how expensive the flowers, how gleaming the table?

Ah no! No longer shall I be bound by "oughts" and "shoulds" and

"does she (do I?) deserve"!

I now yearn not to work as a servant, but to minister as a daughter.

I am willing to love Mary's offering,

But to know that mine is not hers.

To love Jesus, really love,

to love the gift that God has given me to give

---To serve my Lord with love.

---To love my gift

---To love my sister's gift

---To love the Giver of all gifts

Now the supper is done, the ointment flows

Aroma is like a pleasing incense.

He calls her gift good.

His words will be written down for all generations to hear.

But just as precious as nard, or as the spoken word

Is the glance he give me, oh so briefly

The wordless "Amen" to my gift of service.

No one will ever read aloud that look in church--

It appears in no common lectionary.

No one will postulate on the application of that nod

To the daily life of the congregation.

No one will speak aloud, as they tell the story of this night,

The quiet "Amen" only I heard.

But some, who serve willingly and quietly

At potlucks and funeral dinners

Some who mow the grass and shine the pews

Some who ladle chili to those with no homes on wintery nights

Some who hold crying babies in the nursery

Some who fix the meals for the mission trip

Some who assemble newsletters each Monday morning

Some who pour out grape juice and bake the bread

Some who run powerpoint and check mic batteries

Some who rake the leaves of older neighbors

Some who light the furnace on cold Sunday mornings

Some who work each week in the clothes closet downtown

Some who replace lightbulbs and air conditioning filters

Some who scrub toilets in the education wing

Will see, will feel and will hear

Will know the joy of choosing the better part

Will know that my gift, and their gifts

Are pleasing to Jesus too.

The Last Supper may lie ahead---

But I am hosting the Last Party.

And I am blest

And I am blest

Palm Sunday

A colt, Luke writes

A child horse.

The weight of the man

Quite hard to bear---

Simon, bearer of the cross;

A colt, bearer of the Savior.

How was it that the disciples

Found this colt?

How was it that the owners

Did not cry "Thief!"

How slowly the colt

Crept into the city,

Carrying his heavy burden.

And how far did he

Bear the savior?

All the way til tears fell

For the Holy City?

What did that colt become,

What character of horse?

Did he later and older

Becoming soldier's steed

Carry Cornelius' men to find the Rock?

Or did he pull a grand Ethiopian chariot

unable to outrun Philip and grace?

Or did he return home

pondering this thing in his child-like heart?

And somehow know, through the horse-sense

God gave him

That it was worth the burden---

it was light---

And that glory loomed ahead?

+Written Palm Sunday morning, SKCJ 2007