A response to Loren W.

Dear Loren:

It was good to see you briefly at the Board of Ordained Ministry interviews today! Thanks for your comment here on the blog the other day. How far is too far, you asked, when I commented on Anne Rice's books Christ the Lord. How far is too far, when people "invent" incidents in Jesus' life that are not evidenced in scripture. Well, I guess the only answer I can give you is a subjective one. I know "too far" when I read it. These books, for me, are not "too far" (so far :-)) though I have only read a few chapters. The life that the author imagines is, yes, partly grounded in the gospel of Thomas, but it is also grounded in a rich, rich life of faith by a woman (Anne) whose re-conversion to Christ and Catholicism that has redeemed a very good writer of dark vampire stories into a writer of holy reading that, quite frankly takes my breath away. When I got to the account of Jesus, who tells this first book's story as a man, but trying to remember and recount what it was like for him at seven, when I read the account of the boy Jesus, his family returning to Israel from Egypt, how they arrived in Jerusalem for the Passover, and the huge crowds and the Temple rebuilt and finally he and his family, led by faithful Joseph (whom Jesus calls Joseph, not father), find a place to stay with relatives up on the roof of a building near the Temple. Joseph and Mary encounter part of their extended family there....Elizabeth, and her son John. I was moved to tears, my breath, as I said, taken away by this simple encounter. Could it have happened this way? Why, yes. Does this description deepen my faith experience to the gospel. Oh my yes. Can one become blasphemous if one is not careful when one goes making up things about Jesus' life? Yes. I think of Madeleine L'Engle or even C.S. Lewis himself and what they would have thought about these books..Ms. L'Engle may have read the first of these two books. I think both of them would have approved and said well done. She herself wrote a book, whose name escapes me, about Jesus and his time in Egypt. The imagination is a marvelous gift that we can offer up to the Lord to use for his purposes. And I believe that these books are such an offering to us.

Anyway. Hope your interview went well!

Susan

Some Thoughts on John 11...

Today the gospel lesson was the raising of Lazarus. This story is so complex in revealing the humanity of Jesus. He waits two day after he has heard the news to go to Bethany. When he draws close, Martha Lazarus' sister whom I think of as the "together" one runs out to meet him. She says the words that must have stung his heart "if you would have been here, he would not have died." She goes on, though, to declare her faith that he still can work a miracle. Mary, the sister who lives with her heart on her sleeve, goes out to meet him, and also says the words "if you would have been here, he would not have died" and proceeds to weep. That is when we have that "shortest verse in the Bible", "Jesus wept." It really touches me that it is not in the proclamation of strong Martha, whom I can imagine always paid her bills on time, had all her Christmas shopping done by Nov 1 and had saved wisely for retirement (none of theses being bad things) where we find Jesus moved by emotion. It is when Mary, without a confession of faith that maybe would have even been hollow for her at that point (who, facing untimely death, has not had some moments where our faith walk stumbles?) weeps, no words to be found, that Jesus sheds tears--perhaps the tears of a loving friend, bearing Mary's burden. Perhaps the tears of a man whose good friend has died. How strange, how wonderful that this same man, he grieves the grief who loves, also, moments later reveals his miraculous power to resuscitate the man four days dead. The "why" question certainly arises--if he knew he could raise Lazarus, why did he grieve? For Mary, as I suggested? Or because as fully human and fully divine, he experienced what any of us feel at the loss to death of a good friend while at the same time able to bring him back to life? Words really fail me around this. In the first part of Anne Rice's book Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt the boy Jesus, seven years old unintentionally, and horrified, kills a boy with a curse he places on him, later bringing him back to life. This boy, Eleazar (which is the transliterated word Lazarus, in Hebrew, like John/Jean in English/French) when the boy Jesus raises him back to life comes back kicking and screaming and fighting tooth and nail. If we let our imaginations roam a bit, if we might imagine with Mrs. Rice that such a thing possibly happened to Jesus, then the tears Jesus cried at Lazarus' death might be in memory of a former raising he had done, an older boy whom he unintentionally killed, whom he intentionally made alive again--perhaps the tears of Jesus in John 11 are for himself as he remembered that first raising--about how his own innocence about his own power left him, never to return. That those tears were for the mother and father of Eleazar who for a few hours sat at their dead son's bedside, experiencing what Mary, the mother of Jesus, would feel herself on that bitter Saturday between. The tears might be for all who mourn what was and what could have been. Lazarus/Eleazar. Human/Divine. Life/Death/Life. Bane and blessing, pain and pleasure, in the cross are sanctified, say the words of In the Cross of Christ I Glory. In the intimate pictures of Jesus in the scripture, we find that bane and blessing of life which is sanctified because Our Lord lived this life beside us. Ready us again, O God, to bravely face the paradox of what it means to be a believer in a vulnerable victor and help us stay honest in our task of living as he lived. Amen

Christ the Lord

It is such a terrific thing when somebody lets me in on a new experience in reading or listening to music that blows my mind with the transcendent beauty of it---and I have, for some reason, just discovered this week the Christ the Lord books by Anne Rice. Wow. I started reading tonight the first one Out of Egypt and immediately put it down after I read 10 pages because I knew if I read one more page I would be hooked, and I had made a prior commitment to myself to crochet and watch SIU play basketball tonight on TV. I like to follow the plans I make. But I will make plans this week to read this book, and the other one that came out this week The Road to Cana. Yes, of course, I am pre-disposed to adore anything with "Cana" in the title, but even if my daughter's name was Hortence, I think I would have the same gratitude to Mrs. Rice for these beautiful novels. Where have I been??? Brian McLaren is even quoted on her website about this book. I did check out her bio, since what I have known about her has been about her vampire days. It is just so beautiful, friends, what Christ can do.

You Get A Good Rest, Too...

Tonight we had five people at the dinner table--Cana, Caleb, me, Cana's friend Mae and Caleb's friend, the piano player, Jake. We had spaghetti, and since Jake dropped by at the last minute, I wasn't sure there would be enough for him. But by golly, there was. The loaves and the fishes right there before our eyes. These times seem to be increasing in number, when friends are here for meals. I really like it. As I left the kitchen to retire to my room, I said, without thinking, "You get a good rest, too" instead of "good bye" or "tootle loo" ...actually I had said "Au revoir, jeunne fille and garcons" earlier since Jake and Mae both know French. But my last words were "You get a good rest too"...and Mae smiled. She had been the stage manager (the actual stage manager who managed the stage) for Kansas City Academy's production of Our Town a couple of years ago, and I guess somewhere in my subconscience I must have rememberd that, and I was in the same play in high school and that line "You get a good rest, too" is the very last line of the play.

We all need a good rest, especially district superintendents, between each week's appointment making meetings right now. One of the things I remembered being most surprised about the first year of my superintendency in making appointments was how much care was taken with trying to make sure this was the right church, the right pastor, the right time in the pastor's life, etc. Friends, we want to do our best. Appointment making humbles us, it makes us think and pray as mightilly as we can, and it is exhausting. Pray for all the cabinets across the connection who this day are doing the best they can to get the right pastor in the right church. And pray that we all can get a good rest, too.

Number 2 KC Cohort (or should I say Trio)

Today I was to lead a study for the KC emergent cohort of Rev. McLaren's book Everything Must Change. Only three of us showed up--Tera, John and I. We mostly ended up talking about books we have read that have been engaging and enlightening around the conversation. I also mentioned the new Anne Rice book, the second in her Jesus trilogy which I heard reviewed on NPR yesterday afternoon on All Things Considered (that review was criticized by a letter read today as too influenced by the reviewer's faith--I found the review refreshing). I mentioned to Tera that I wanted to read the Rice books while I was on sabbatical this summer (actually renewal leave). I then said something about having volunteered to help out at Jacob's Well those two months this summer, but no one on staff has really taken me up on it. I have assumed that that is simply that no one has thought about it much, or that what could a 53 year old main liner do there that wouldn't smack of institution (I should have known better than to have that last thought.) Tera said she had heard from somebody over there about my sabbatical ...Mike King, she said, who is on staff and an elder there. He had told her that they had decided no, since Susan is supposed to be on sabbatical, she needs to rest. Isn't THAT interesting. My MLS advisor (more on that soon...don't worry, I am not changing careers yet :-)) also told me not to take two classes this summer, but just one since I need not rush the degree, since I won't be using it until after I retire, and besides, she said about a month ago "you will be on renewal leave and you won't want to do too much work." What an interesting thing. To have folks making sure I really am renewed. I start the leave June 24 and end it August 25. More on this some other time.

Three short posts...Numero Uno Janine

#1 I have a new best friend---Janine and I am typing on her. She's an Dell Inspiron 1526. My old laptop 'puter may have lasted until annual conference, and perhaps beyond, but this one was on sale at Best Buy, and with Kendall in tow (why is it that I think I need a guy there to help me ask the right questions about electronics???) I bought her on Tuesday night in Columbia. She has a larger screen, more capacity, and is prettier than my old one, though the old one has held up pretty well for being owned by somebody who is rough on her stuff. Not much else clever to say, except I am paying for half over time, and the office the other half since I use it at home as well as at the office. In this day, a d.s. is only as good as her car, her cell phone and her computer. Janine will make a nice addition to my ministry, that is, if I can figure out how to load Microsoft office 2007. I will try again tomorrow.

Open door policy---Automotive Radical Hospitality

You really do get to an age in life where you must simply accept some things about yourself. This has happened to me. There is a very good chance I will never wear a six petite anything. I probably won't ever be a delegate to general conference, and although there were some years I would have liked to have been, I really no longer have any great desire to be one. That's a good thing since I've not ever made it beyond a Jurisdictional Reserve. I will most probably never serve Kirkwood as senior pastor, not only because I might not be the best person for that position, but since I am contemplating retiring with 35 years of service in 2012. Another thing I have accepted about myself, as I have admitted here over the years, is that I am messy. Very. And it feels like I have really gotten into this messy thing in a big way since coming on the district. Particularly in terms of the interior of my car.

However, accepting oneself is no excuse for being inhospitable. I do want to be radically hospitable in as many part of my life as I can. Last week, at cabinet, as usual when we broke for lunch, we piled into one of the dss' cars and went off to get something to eat. Except for the last several times we have met, I have not volunteered to be the lunch driver because my car was such a mess that I was embarrassed to let anybody besides my kids and sometimes Philip in it. A mess. I will not offend your sensibilities by describing it. But since today was such a gorgeous day, I took two hours and cleaned the interior. This week my colleagues I hope, will climb in my car to go to lunch. I guess when even you realize who you are, some of who you are still can change, and needs to change when it's getting in the way of offering yourself and your car for others. This may be something that some of our churches need to wake up to, too. "This is just the way I am" works for some things, but never should be an excuse for not growing, or not caring.

In any case, my car is certainly not spotless, but no longer embarrasing!