Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Fairyland








Fairyland. I first heard of this magical place about six years ago, while serving at Broadway UMC in Waldo, which, believe it or not, was not really that very far from Fairyland. Sitting at Prospect Avenue and 75th, Fairyland Park, filled with rides and a swimming pool and lots of places to picnic, was open from 1923 until 1977, when a wind storm wrecked parts of the roller coasters and Worlds of Fun became too much competition. I heard of Fairyland from members of Broadway, near my age, who recounted stories about the school picnics, the 25 cents admission price, and the great times they had there with their families.
I drive past that corner often, since when I travel from the office I get off Bruce Watkins highway at 75th to tootle on over to Kansas City Academy to pick up Caleb. Since finding out about the park that used to be there, I never pass that corner without wanting to get out and root around to see if I could fine a ticket stub, or a ride token, or even just a penny with "1950" marked on it to help me imagine what it must have been like. There is still a large patch of green there and a not for profit organization that aids the blind has built a great looking facility there.

Fairyland. I had not thought, however, too terribly much about it in detail, just wistful imaginings of girls in pigtails holding their daddies hands, and the waft of cotton candy in the air.

After last night, though I will be thinking about Fairyland differently.
Cana is taking a twentieth century American history class this semester, one of three courses she has at Penn Valley Community College. Two of those three classes are taught by African Americans...her history class being one. Yesterday, the teacher, in her late fifties, talked personally about what it was like growing up in Kansas City. She talked about Fairyland. She told the class that when she was a little girl, the only time black folks could go to Fairyland was on "colored people's weekend" when they were invited to come to "test the rides." Her mother would not let her go on those weekends, not just because of the ominous nature of that description, but also because her mom said, "if we can't go when we want, we won't go at all."

I think of myself as anything but racist. I was taught by my parents not to be, even when there were those in our family whose jokes made me sick to my stomach and who thought they were mighty funny when they would start talking in dialect. My two colleagues in the district office are both black; good grief, I listen to the black gospel selections from my Ipod almost every day! I'm cool with all of this. Until I remember, I am a creation of white privilege. I see the world, especially American history, through those eyes. How many times have I offended friends by not remembering that and by assuming my view is their view too?
Fairyland Park did not desegregate until 1964, ten years after Brown vs. the Board of Education; a year after the March on Washington; the same year as the Civil Rights Act passed Congress, a year before the Voting Rights Act did. Kansas City could in no way be called "cutting edge" when it came to integration. There were protests for two full years before the privately-owned Fairyland was integrated, and then over protests by many white folks in the community. Over those two years there were many arrests of persons trying to buy tickets. Most of the objection was that there would be "mixed swimming" in the pool there.

Now, I will look at that green space at the corner of Prospect and 75th, surrounded by houses owned and lived in by African Americans, and I will not feel the same. I will still want to stop, but this time to not only remember the sounds of squealing teenagers making that last long loop on the Wildcat roller coaster, but I will also remember the determination of the black kids who for two years tried and tried and finally made it into the gates. I will continue to notice that there is still a "color line" at Troost Avenue, as I draw closer to my kids school and my old church, and I will remember that my children, blond at birth and light skinned still, have been children of privilege, attending a private school within the boundaries of one of the most challenged public school districts in the country. It is all a web intricate in history and held strong by prejudice. At least I can try my best to understand that my backward look at past events is skewed by my own privilege. And I will try to remember.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Such a Beautiful wedding! as Mrs Soames would say (apologies to Thornton Wilder)....


It has been a rather, well, busy last 10 days or so. Some of these days were ones that if someone were to tell me, as many do, that "I wouldn't want your job" I would have agreed. Today was not one of those days. Because today, I got to perform the marriage of Allison and Joshua Shandy at her parents home north of Odessa. I have not performed a wedding for three and half years, maybe longer, and I have never performed one any more beautiful than this one. The weather was perfect, the bride, beautiful, the music lovely (including a stunning moment for me when, for the processional, iPod played through speakers played the hymn Praise to the Lord, The Almighty) and both fathers led in prayer in the midst of the service. The colors for the wedding were black, champagne and red.... Here is a picture of Allison, Josh, their attendants and parents after the wedding.

Those are apple trees, laden with red ripe fruit, on each side of the arbor. And so, of course, last night after the rehearsal I had to come home and download from Itunes a John Rutter recording (Elizabeth Hampton setting I think) of the early American poem Jesus Christ the Apple Tree. Below is the text to the poem. Which is what I will leave you with, except that the reception was held in the barn out back, the bride sang along with Michael Buble's rendition of The Very Thought of You for the first dance, and we all ate homemade beef stew and cornbread and drank orange Crush and root beer. Proving that although huge bucks and "keeping up with the Jones girl's wedding" can make for an outlandishly expensive cookie cutter wedding and reception, today's wedding was truly beautiful--a gorgeous night, photos taken by the family, a grandpa singing Let Me Call You Sweetheart on his acoustical guitar for the processional (thanks Pete, for another lovely memory) and gobs of thrown rose petals as a beautiful bride and her red-headed husband walked down the grassy aisle is so much more pleasing to the soul.
1
Jesus Christ the Apple Tree
The tree of life my soul hath seen,
Laden with fruit and always green:
The tree of life my soul hath seen,
Laden with fruit and always green:
The trees of nature fruitless be
Compared with Christ the apple tree.
2
His beauty doth all things excel:
By faith I know, but ne’er can tell,
His beauty doth all things excel:
By faith I know, but ne'er can tell
The glory which I now can see
In Jesus Christ the apple tree.
3
For happiness I long have sought,
And pleasure dearly I have bought:
For happiness I long have sought,
And pleasure dearly I have bought:
I missed of all; but now I see
'Tis found in Christ the apple tree.
4
I'm weary with my former toil,
Here I will sit and rest a while:
I'm weary with my former toil,
Here I will sit and rest a while:
Under the shadow I will be,
Of Jesus Christ the apple tree.
5
This fruit doth make my soul to thrive,
It keeps my dying faith alive:
This fruit doth make my soul to thrive,
It keeps my dying faith alive:
Which makes my soul in haste to be
With Jesus Christ the apple tree.

Friday, September 26, 2008

The days dwindle down to a precious few...and it is a good thing


The Cardinals are in their last week of play for 2008. Officially earlier in the week, the math told us it was impossible for them to win the Wild Card. We kinda knew that already. I agree with many, if the month of September could just be taken out of the mix, Tony LaRussa did his greatest job of managing this year. With SO many injuries and new players, the Cards still hung in there till the last three weeks.


Oh, by the way, I love my Cardinals. This time of the year as their games dwindle down to a precious few, whether or not at the end of the regular season or at the end of the World Series, I have had a real let down. I watched more games this year (on my MLB Sports InDemand Cable package...well worth my money) because of my being off for two months, and I could arrange my days even better around day and night games. No kidding.


Three years ago about now, and into October 2005, I experienced my first real bout with this depression/anxiety thing. I thought it was because of the new position and its new patterns that I had not yet become accustomed too, or to missing the community of the local church, or not being with my kids as much because I was living in Liberty and they were with their dad most of the time since they continued in school in the city. It was not until Thanksgiving, as I slept for the most of two days while visiting brother Sam in Carbondale, getting used to some of the meds that have become my good friends over these years, when I told him about the serotonin not serotoning---that he said, "Susan, didn't this come on just about the time the Cardinals' season ended?" And to tell you the truth, he was right. And to tell you the truth, that made some sense...in combination with some of the other changes, I missed my Cards....hmmm.


In an odd kind of way, the Cardinals become sort of like a periphery family from April to Septmeber for me. And I like it. I am proud when they win, and when they continue to fight, like they are doing this week, even though they are out of the race and it looks like Albert will lose the batting title to Chipper Jones. I like knowing those Aflac commercials by heart. I like it that I can time doing the laundry around innings. I like it that over the last 10 years of watching faithfully (my getting back into the Cardinals coincided with my divorce...not that I needed surrogate family but Philip was and is not a sports fan, AT ALL...so I got to go back to them without guilt when we were no longer sharing the TV) I have made no telling how many baby afghans (Hang on Angie and Curtis, it isn't done YET!), hats for the homeless, large afghans and other assorted crochet and counted cross stitch items.


This year, though, I do not feel sad as the season comes to the end. This year, I feel like it is time. Time for these young men to go home to their wives and sweethearts and rest their aching bodies a bit; to plan and execute the plans for their babies which seem to be born with remarkable frequency in July, August and September (count the months back); and to enjoy those outrageous contracts they all have these days. It is okay that the season is over and I will not cry. It is time.


I feel like I am, as Don McLean said once about himself, "gaining a sense of rhythm as I lose my sense of time..." Not sure I can completely explain it, but I am okay with not wanting more. I don't want more. The season is complete. I had that same eerie feeling (for me) this summer when I finished a fantasy trilogy by Angus Welles, written several years ago. I LOVED the books, and it was okay when they were done. It was time. There have been times in my life when I cried because a book was over and I wanted it to never end. Gone with the Wind and Barefoot in the Park when I was a teenager or the Anne of Green Gables books when I was a bit younger. I remember times when Philip and the kids and I would go on vacation and I would cry coming home because we had had such a good time. And I remember how I was afraid that I would be sad after getting to spend so much time with the kiddos and in our new space this summer that I would not want to return to work.


But it is all okay. It was time for it to end. And time for the next season to begin. I am thankful for those Saint Louis Cardinals and for good books and for vacations and time off. For time and rhythm and all of it. It is a good thing.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Preaching at Saint Paul


It was my turn this year to be the Missouri D.S. of choice to preach at Saint Paul School of Theology. I guess there have been years when there have been two....anyway, it was a really good experience for me. I was too much "on script" so to speak, but I really enjoyed preaching on the Eli and Samuel text and having some of my student pastors in the service. I wish I had done what I fleetingly thought of yesterday and taken a picture of the congregation from the pulpit. The music was absolutely great today. I especially enjoyed Brad Bryan's musical setting of O Love That Will Not Let Me Go. And Mary Alice Cunningham's quite jazzy solo When We All Get to Heaven as the postlude.

Anyway, not anything really clever to say about today, except I enjoyed it very much. I probably have not preached more than five times over the past year (!?!?) .... and it was an honor to be asked to do so there.
And we received an email from Hubert Neth today saying that he never thought he'd live to witness a charge conference where the DS played a Marty Stuart CD during the meditation. (which I did at his charge conference last Sunday)
And just now, as I walked down the bank of mid century windows on both sides of the hallway to my bedroom, stopping at Cana's bedroom door, speaking through the crack that was open, I said, "Good night...I love you from the top of your head to the tip of your toe." And she replied, without missing a beat "I love you right back"...I knew it was a good day.




Sunday, September 21, 2008

It never ends...


Amidst a very busy d.s. weekend, I presided at the charge conference at Oakland for Buckner and Oakland UMCs. I will blog about the content of the conference and other Sunday happenings on the http://www.heartlandnorthnews.blogspot.com/ blog tomorrow hopefully (hard to know sometimes how to differentiate the two blogs) but wanted to share one thing that happened there. Ann Farmer spoke, who along with Julie Yokum from Buckner UMW started the Baby Grace program for young moms, mostly students at Fort Osage High school. I've written about this before.


I believe the program is nearly two years old now, and Ann reported today that they have helped 44 moms and 46 babies counting also the young moms that are not at Fort Osage. Wow. They give a whole laundry basket of items that have been gathered by church members and also items collected from local businesses---I remember being told before that an insurance company gives a baby medical guide book to go in and lots of other stuff is given too. They have a lending service for larger items like baby beds and other equipment. It is SUCH a wonderful program. At least three other churches have taken this ministry as a model for their ministry.


Anyway, I was really moved by something Ann said that I had not heard from her before. She said that what is happening is that these relationships that the UMW members are building with the young moms ---well, the relationship doesn't end. Just because the baby gets to be three, that doesn't mean that the UMW wants to say, in any way, "okay, now we are done with you." It just doesn't end. And you know what? That's what it is about love. It doesn't. Really loving someone is a huge risk emotionally and sometimes monetarily too! When you really love, you don't stop. That's because what you initially thought the relationship was going to be morphs into something usually deeper and richer than you could at first imagine. Like UMW members at a part-time appointment and young girls that needed them. Or like a sweetheart that no longer is around but who lingers in your mind and soul even though you no longer see him. Or your own mama who might have died over eight years ago but mysteriously shows up now and again when you don't expect her to and makes you laugh and/or cry. Or your own kids who first you carry inside your body, and then in your arms, and then into the world and then and then....that love keeps growing and changing and shaping us. Or that love for vocation that takes you to people and places you once never knew existed (there was a time I did not know where Oakland church was....as hard as that is to believe).


Yes, dear Ann and those Buckner Women, you have taught me again what the nature of love is, with its heartbreak and with its joy, through this marvelous ministry. It is just so very right, and so very wonderful. Thank you so very much.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Here's Cana and Caleb!!!


Just wanted to show off my kids. Things are good here right now, if Caleb could only turn in his work. Cana is taking three classes at Penn Valley--Math, Intro to Political Science and Am History 1865 to present and really enjoying it all. Caleb is a senior at Kansas City Academy. Here they are! This was taken in our dining room in the golden light of the ceiling light. Thus to golden glow.

Monday, September 08, 2008

A Trip to Bogard


Twas a long day, today was. I officiated at a called charge conference at 6 pm at Bogard UMC in Bogard. The purpose was to take a vote on selling two tracts of land next to the church building to the neighbor. There were seven persons present--they were missing two of the regular attenders. They have worship service twice a month, served by two lay speakers, and have Sunday School on the other two Sundays each month. This is the church which I blogged about last fall that has a Salvadore Dali print of St. John of the Cross, a signed Salvadore Dali print, and what an oddly wonderful thing to discover it.

Today, I made sure to wear my jacket with the abstract art (see picture) in honor of Bogard and Dali. It took me about an hour and forty five minutes to drive there, and the charge conference was over in ten minutes. I lingered a bit, asked some questions about how they were doing, had them share some history and they also had a chuckle over my delight with the Dali print, and I was on the road back home by 6:35. What??!!! I hear some say. Are you CRAZY driving all that way for that? I even thought that myself about 3:00. Why didn't I have one of the elders that is close by Bogard go out and run the charge conference? That would have made more sense in terms of finances (gas) and energy (mine). Not even very green of me really. Even in a Prius. And I was more than tired when I got home.

And yet....the one sheep; the one woman who touched the edge of his garment in the crowd; the private conversations with Nicodemus and a rich young ruler; the visit with the two sisters; the meal with the twelve. Wouldn't it have made more sense, in a way, if Jesus saved his best stuff for the crowds on the hillside? Why bother with the one or two or twelve?

I am convinced that God's economy is so drastically different from ours that for us, post-enlightenment and Western who do like to measure so, it is very hard to understand. We so often weigh our time and effort not in terms of the impact of the one, but the impact of the many. Is it worth my time to drive all the way out there for something somebody else could have done as well as I could? Maybe part of the issue is that although some other elder could have run the conference, no other elder is the d.s. of Bogard and represents the larger church. I am not sure any other elder would have challenged them as pointedly as I did ---one woman spoke about how many of the houses in this town have become cheap rental property and folks are often known to skip out on rent---I reminded them that these are the ones who need us the most...that there was still ministry to do in this community which they all love...God isn't through with them yet...in more ways than one.

It was worth my time to go there and to look at the beautiful faces of seven folks who love their church and their community who just need, really, a little creativity and courage to reach out, not to all the persons in need in their community, but just even one. It was worth my time to drive all that way, talking on the phone with Kendall a bit about administrative issues, and talking to sick Cana twice, and leaving a message for Rosanne Malter, and listening to Sammy Davis Jr sing songs from Porgy and Bess on my iPod and it was really worth it to sing along with Marty Stuart "I can't even walk, without holding Your hand..." and it was worth my time to have a good conversation over lunch with just one pastor earlier today and get good advice from another while sitting in his office this aftenoon.

Lord, help me to always remember, it is worth it.

PS I need to go to the Town and Country event at Saint Paul...badly. Hope I can figure out how.