Bowling Together, Bowling Alone

It was cabinet today, and as members were encouraged to share blessings in their lives, I heard my colleague and friend Cody Collier tell what a blessing it was last month to have a time of fellowship with the pastors of his district as the went "bowling together." A good time was had by all. I had heard Cody talk about this before and I will admit I was a little jealous. I, like Cody, like to bowl, but I simply am not very good at it. Today, when Cody used those two words, "bowling together," I thought of the Robert Putnam book Bowling Alone published in 2000 in which he shares data that shows how "social capital" has become less and less important in the lives of Americans, and that the isolation of the suburb, the automobile, the competition of business, and many other issues have left many with no real connections in their lives.

Hearing about the Heartland South pastors bowling just makes my heart sing. We are not meant to bowl alone (unless we are working on skills so we can bowl with others). We are not meant to be lone rangers in ministry.

However, I am too often made aware that pastors, in reality, do bowl alone. Sometimes they do so because they don't know any other pastors around them with whom to relate and build a relationship. Sometimes their confidence is so low they do not really want to share their ministries because they do not feel as if they want anybody else to see either how poor their skills are, or how demoralized that they are. Sometimes our arrogance keeps us from bowling with anyone else---we can't find anyone who can bowl as high a score as we can. Or we can't get anyone to bowl with us because we have turned everybody off by telling them that the only way to approach the lane is the way we do it. Or their bowling ball is the wrong weight. Or the wrong color. Or we don't like their shoes.

I guess I hope that part of my vision for our district is that our pastors will grow in trust of each other and of me. That I will deserve that trust. That I will find ways to hold our "lone bowlers" accountable to engage with others while also holding up their spirits. Are there better ways that we can learn to play and work beside each other that would encourage us to not only bear each others' burdens but to encourage us to share our strengths without others feeling as if we "one-upping " them? I am still thinking on this...