This is another heck-of-a-week. Last night I worshipped in a service that was worthy of blogging, and much much more. At Jacob's Well, Tim Keel preached on forgiving our enemies---that as we really learn and pray ourselves into forgiving those who have calculatedly hurt us, our hearts beat more truly with the beat of God's heart. One quotation I remember, "Mostly what God does is love us."
Today, amongst many other things, I drove to Columbia for two 1/2 hour presentations by two churches in my district who were applying for grants from the conference in order to move into the next phase of ministry in their churches. I sat with Brian Roots during his presentation as he asked for a significant grant to help rent a warehouse where North Star needs to move in order to have "dedicated space"--they have met for 6 or 7 years in an elementary school on the west side of Liberty, and each Sunday, have set up and taken down for worship in the gymnasium. They have a trailer where they put the items, and call it "church in a box." Megan Sly from Platte Woods made an eloquent appeal for funds to help begin a new worship experience targeting younger adults. She was wonderfully prepared and well spoken as always. She had her senior pastor Steve Breon with her. I was Brian's "other person," and although I was not exactly sure what I was supposed to say, I said it with passion :) Form sometimes precedes substance with me...anyway, one of the gifts I do actually have is the gift of being able to project the energy that I feel when I am talking about something important to me and my faith...today it was getting North Star more settled as an interim step before the church can build on its land. As I was packing up my stuff after the presentation, I heard someone (it may have been Jon Spalding) say, "you brought a good cheerleader, Brian..." and Brian replied, "The best!" Which was probably the neatest thing I've heard anyone say in a very long time about moi. Don't worry---I have enough acknowledged faults to keep me humble.
Cheer leading, in this sense, is something I do well. But I remember one of my most painful experiences as an adolescent came when I was in the seventh grade, and I went out for cheer leading for the basketball team. I knew, somewhere in the depths of my heart, even as I practiced the cartwheels on the old mattress my dad had laid outside our house for me to fall on (and I almost always fell) that I would not make it onto the squad. I have never been physically very sure of myself and except for dancing, never had the confidence to try to make my round, short body to do any of those athletic moves expected even then of cheerleaders. My trying to do the splits only hurt me and everyone watching me. So the day after we tried out, when Mr. Wheeles, the principal came to our class and named the cheerleaders, I was not named. And it was the first time in my life when I had to smile one of those smiles that is plastered on and shakes, because your cheeks and your heart is really not in on it. I knew I was doomed to a life of unpopularity, and I could sing with Janis Ian, "I learned the truth at seventeen (really at 12) that life is made for beauty queens..." or cheerleaders. But today, I realized something new, and made a connection for the first time....although I will never in my life get to hold pom poms and stand in front of the bleachers as my team plays, my cheer leading days are finally here. Truth be told, they've been here quite a while. Cheering on the Community congregation to buy that old insurance building and move in; cheering on old Broadway to get that Ascension window covered and backlit so the neighbors could see it, not just those inside; and now, over and over again, as I see the big and small dreams that our pastors and churches have and are attempting to live out, I cheer lead for all its worth...it is a wonderful thing to be able to be in a position where I can be a vehicle for the gladdened heart of God because of these who want to rent warehouses, and begin new worshipping communities, and those who are still listening and looking for the vision that God has given and wants to give them. The cheer leading I do for Emergent is to be present, to give money when I can, and to always make sure I tell these folks how wonderful they are when I can say it authentically and to be a cheer leader for this conversation in the UMC. Whether with the churches and pastors in my district, or with those whom I know and sometimes worship with, and sometimes attend cohort meetings, conferences, teach, and dream with, whether UMC or Emergent, I certainly don't ever have to force the smile at my joy in what is happening, and although a poignant tear is shed, I know that the adolescent worry that I would never be popular, has been replaced in my soul with the assurance that I am a precious daughter of a God whose heart I know because I know Christ as my savior. I have learned the truth, and continue to learn it with each passing year, that life is made rich and robust because the thing God mostly does, which is to love us.
Today, amongst many other things, I drove to Columbia for two 1/2 hour presentations by two churches in my district who were applying for grants from the conference in order to move into the next phase of ministry in their churches. I sat with Brian Roots during his presentation as he asked for a significant grant to help rent a warehouse where North Star needs to move in order to have "dedicated space"--they have met for 6 or 7 years in an elementary school on the west side of Liberty, and each Sunday, have set up and taken down for worship in the gymnasium. They have a trailer where they put the items, and call it "church in a box." Megan Sly from Platte Woods made an eloquent appeal for funds to help begin a new worship experience targeting younger adults. She was wonderfully prepared and well spoken as always. She had her senior pastor Steve Breon with her. I was Brian's "other person," and although I was not exactly sure what I was supposed to say, I said it with passion :) Form sometimes precedes substance with me...anyway, one of the gifts I do actually have is the gift of being able to project the energy that I feel when I am talking about something important to me and my faith...today it was getting North Star more settled as an interim step before the church can build on its land. As I was packing up my stuff after the presentation, I heard someone (it may have been Jon Spalding) say, "you brought a good cheerleader, Brian..." and Brian replied, "The best!" Which was probably the neatest thing I've heard anyone say in a very long time about moi. Don't worry---I have enough acknowledged faults to keep me humble.
Cheer leading, in this sense, is something I do well. But I remember one of my most painful experiences as an adolescent came when I was in the seventh grade, and I went out for cheer leading for the basketball team. I knew, somewhere in the depths of my heart, even as I practiced the cartwheels on the old mattress my dad had laid outside our house for me to fall on (and I almost always fell) that I would not make it onto the squad. I have never been physically very sure of myself and except for dancing, never had the confidence to try to make my round, short body to do any of those athletic moves expected even then of cheerleaders. My trying to do the splits only hurt me and everyone watching me. So the day after we tried out, when Mr. Wheeles, the principal came to our class and named the cheerleaders, I was not named. And it was the first time in my life when I had to smile one of those smiles that is plastered on and shakes, because your cheeks and your heart is really not in on it. I knew I was doomed to a life of unpopularity, and I could sing with Janis Ian, "I learned the truth at seventeen (really at 12) that life is made for beauty queens..." or cheerleaders. But today, I realized something new, and made a connection for the first time....although I will never in my life get to hold pom poms and stand in front of the bleachers as my team plays, my cheer leading days are finally here. Truth be told, they've been here quite a while. Cheering on the Community congregation to buy that old insurance building and move in; cheering on old Broadway to get that Ascension window covered and backlit so the neighbors could see it, not just those inside; and now, over and over again, as I see the big and small dreams that our pastors and churches have and are attempting to live out, I cheer lead for all its worth...it is a wonderful thing to be able to be in a position where I can be a vehicle for the gladdened heart of God because of these who want to rent warehouses, and begin new worshipping communities, and those who are still listening and looking for the vision that God has given and wants to give them. The cheer leading I do for Emergent is to be present, to give money when I can, and to always make sure I tell these folks how wonderful they are when I can say it authentically and to be a cheer leader for this conversation in the UMC. Whether with the churches and pastors in my district, or with those whom I know and sometimes worship with, and sometimes attend cohort meetings, conferences, teach, and dream with, whether UMC or Emergent, I certainly don't ever have to force the smile at my joy in what is happening, and although a poignant tear is shed, I know that the adolescent worry that I would never be popular, has been replaced in my soul with the assurance that I am a precious daughter of a God whose heart I know because I know Christ as my savior. I have learned the truth, and continue to learn it with each passing year, that life is made rich and robust because the thing God mostly does, which is to love us.
5 comments:
We are grateful that your are our cheerleader!
Dear and Gentle Reader,
Since I last had the pleasure of visiting ye, I have had many thoughts upon ye and your work.
Who knows but it may please God to make ye an instrument in His glorious work? In effecting an union among the labourers in His vineyard? That He may direct and bless you in all your steps is the prayer of my heart.
Your affectionate and obedient servant,
JW
Another guess on the phone: Did you drop it in the toilet, or other pool of water?
I would advise you to get phone insurance. I thought it was a waste of money until my wife put her phone through the washing machine. $50 deductible will replace your phone.
Susan,
Thanks for your words. I think you have a good point, especially as a DS. We all need that person or persons to be on our side cheering or laughing, or crying. Keep up the God work and I pray blessings upon you.
And, by the way folks, Brian found out that North Star received the FULL AMOUNT it asked for for the grant!!! Rah, Rah TEAM!!!
Susan
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