Knocking at the Door of Our Church

This afternoon, I gave my hour-long "talk" about emerging/emergent at my cabinet (12 d.s.s and the bish). I was not terribly happy with my presentation (did not feel very glib, that's for sure) and yet, I went on even when I was laboring a bit for words. THAT I felt good about. I am not at all sure that many of those around the table knew much about what I was talking about, and I am not sure that many knew much more when I was done. The bishop had his own read on the conversation, which he contributed. It is SO hard for me to talk about all of this. And I realized today again today how committed I am to continuing the conversation in whatever way possible. And I am afraid that there are times when I feel more at home with those engaged in the conversation then I do anyplace else. Well, I do feel at home in the churches in my district when I am talking about how younger adults; I feel at home when I am reading and writing about all of this; I feel at home when my pastors tell me that they are glad to be given direction on their church's ministry. It is all so important, I know.
I guess the feeling I have sometimes, is that I feel so different than others around me --- other clergy, other leaders. It does feel like I know a different language, and I just want folks around me, folks whom I love, to learn a bit of it too...I have been using the Warner Sallman painting, "Christ At Heart's Door" at the charge conferences(I am having a hard time downloading it tonight on blogger--will try again in the morning)---but inviting the folks (and I did with the cabinet today) to hear Jesus (a young man during his ministry by our standards) inviting us to open that latchless door to our church's heart doors, and to come out with him to meet the opportinities of this new, postmodern, messy, blurry world. I hope at least, that was heard. And I hope that I can keep my own heart's door open not only for me to go out with Jesus to our world as it is, but also to keep my heart's door open to those churches and church leaders cloistered behind other doors, some locked because of fear that if they come out, they will be changed; others locked behind fatigue--they don't have the will or strength to open the door; some simply locked because no one has persuaded them that it is important to open. Lord, keep me encouraged, keep me reading, keep me talking, keep me loving those behind the doors, and those who wait with hurting hearts for persons in this messy blurry world to come to them, fearless; energetic; and deeply committed to the good news of Jesus Christ.