On Prayer

I prayed out loud nine times today---at breakfast, and before and after each of the four evaluations I had. One thing I noticed right after coming on the cabinet was how much I was praying aloud and how many different people I pray with every day. That first year, and at times for the next three years, I found myself too often praying rote prayers, or at least using rote phrases in prayers I prayed.

But especially of the last several months, as I have been working on deepening my own life of prayer, I have been trying my best to be attentive to the person for whom I will pray, and really focusing on the particularities of that person and their situation. And I find that words sometimes come from my mouth or images come into my head that I did not intentionally think about---it just comes. This does not happen all of the time, because I can't seem to focus all of the time, but when it does, I can feel the spirit working. Focusing on the need right in front of you is the key. I recently had an interesting conversation with a woman sitting next to me on a plane. We talked with each other about our lives a bit and somehow we managed to get on the subject of prayer, and this same issue of focus. She is a massage therapist who works with disabled children through a program in the state of Texas. She said that each time before she enters the home of one of these clients, she sits a bit in her car and imagines an altar in her mind. She imagines that she is kneeling before that altar and she has brought, either led or carried, that child with her there. And that she offers up her work in the home in front of which she is sitting, to be a fragrant offering of love for God.

Last week I received the best compliment that I have ever been given--I was called a prayer warrior. I used to shrink from that phrase, not wanting to think that something as tender and caring as intercessory prayer should be offered by a "warrior." I tell you this not to brag, but to say I think she had me confused with someone els who really IS a prayer warrior. That other person is someone who can point readily to those prayer requests she prayed that were answered according to her petition. That other person who knows always just the right words to say instead of bobbling through, and mid prayer saying, "God, I don't know what to say here." Or that prayer warrior who is courageous enough to offer prayer for someone, right then and there, who she feels led to pray for. Or who keeps to a schedule both day and night for reflection and prayer, and never misses and whose life is always a quiet reflection of her "intouchness" with God.

I know I am not a person who can always say how her prayer is answered, at least not for years maybe, or who always has the right words at the right time to say in prayer; I do not always stop and pray with someone even though I a sense that I should; and even though I am pretty faithful to daily prayer, there are times when I don't do it, and regret it later.

The prayer that I would offer for all of this tonight is this: Lord, help me to see as you see, not as mortals see, but to look on the heart. When I worry about what words to use, focus my attention away from me and on to the person before me, and especially on you. Continue to remind me that is not really in the pretty words I say that you take joy, It is in the earnestness of my heart. Amen